So in a move that surprises no one, the US government is finally targeting modern video game consoles in order to stop the world’s worst enemy, Osama Bin La…oh sorry he’s dead (or is he?!) Surprisingly, this new measure by the Department of Homeland Security and the Navy wasn’t primarily enacted to stop “terruristz” (although they are going after them too). No, this is to stop an enemy far more dangerous and cunning, a group who poses the greatest threat the world has ever seen: pedophiles! (*Scream*)

The “Gaming Systems Monitoring and Analysis Project” was started back in 2008 when law enforcement felt that people’s privacy rights weren’t being properly sodomized, oh and that they feared pedophiles might use game consoles to talk to children. But really, we all know that the former is the real reason for this initiative; the US government’s motives are easier to read than a pregnancy test (yet some people still don’t know how to read those things…) The project was eventually tossed over to the DHS, who then tossed it over to the Navy in order to find a solution; because as we all know, the Navy has nothing better to do than chasing sex offenders through Xbox Live.

The contract, valued at over $170k, was recently awarded to Obscure Technologies, a forensics company based out of California. They will be creating software tools that will allow them to hack into new and used video game consoles and extract personal information on its owners. While DHS says that this spying will be done in order to stop pedophiles, they also believe that terrorists are using video game consoles for nefarious purposes, such as asking each other what to wear to the prom (terrorists have social lives too you know!)

So far, DHS says that these illegal searches will only be performed on the consoles of non-US citizens as they currently can’t get around all of those pesky privacy laws here in the states. But don’t worry they’ll find a way, and soon big brother will be watching you play Kinect Adventures in the nude just like God intended. Its only a matter of time…

Source: Daily Tech

About Yomaru

[Managing Editor] I love video games and have been playing since the SNES days. My favorite titles include Metroid II, BioShock, Resident Evil 4 and Left 4 Dead. I'm an avid internet junkie and gifted in the ways of computers, but don't ask me to fix yours. Also a big fan of indie movies and anime.